At the appointment today Dr. Castro said she was worried that the baby wouldn't have grown to the 13 week point, but he is right on target. They also measured the fluid and it has gone down. The next appointment is in 3 weeks where she will check the anatomy of the baby (heart, lungs, brain, etc) then I will likely see a pediatric cardiologist to echo the findings of Dr. Castro but just to be sure that is the case. Dr. Castro said "tell Greg that I had a big smile on my face today" as we have obviously made it over a huge hurdle but are looking at other abnormalities that could exist. She's also concentrating a little more on my kidneys now that we got the CVS test results out of the way and will watch my proteinuria throughout the pregnancy.

On a side note, Dax really wanted a girl and wanted so bad to name her Lucy or Charlotte. Of late he is liking the idea of another brother a little better each day especially since he can't wait to "hold him all the time". As for me, with another boy, all I have on my to-do list is a few blankets. This I can handle. We're still working on a name though.

The results are in: our baby boy has a normal karyotype so no chromosomal abnormalities! As with anything the test isn't 100% accurate and there still may be heart problems or others we don't know about but so far so good. We know that our Father in Heaven has a plan for this special boy and are grateful for the faith and prayers of our family and friends.


(This is an example of what a FISH test looks like)

Thanks to our good friends the Geary's, Greg and I were able to make a trip to the Illinois temple solo. It was so nice to do some sealings and then to sit in the Celestial room together and pray. I turned to him prior to leaving and said, "So what do you think?" He said exactly what I was thinking: simple and sweet. "It's all going to be okay." We know no matter what happens, whether this baby is fine, whether he comes to earth for a short time for a body, or if perhaps he doesn't make it quite that far, that everything is going to be okay.

Preliminary Results

Dr. Castro just called and gave me the preliminary results: GOOD NEWS! At this point there are no abnormalities in the chromosomes. So 13, 17, 18 and 21 (I think those are the right numbers) are all there and perfect at this point. She said that these results are extremely accurate but there are always glitches. So in 7-10 days we will get the results back from the FISH test which will show all chromosomes and if there are any ones a little short, long, etc. which can be a whole new set of problems. But the major ones, I believe have been crossed off the list. I go in next week to have another ultrasound to see if the fluid has gone down at all.

As well, we'll be having another BOY!! So if you have any suggestions for names, now would be a good time to send them my way.

My mom reminded me to "enjoy the moment". I shall do just that. . .

Stats and Statistics

Here's a little bit of what I learned today:

Dr. Castro: OB, Graduated from Harvard

Dr. Bick: performed one of the first Chronic Villus (the developing placenta) Sampling or CVS in the US, has performed ~10,000; one of the best in the country. In my case this test involved inserting a long needle transabdominally into the placenta and taking a sample of those cells that are the same as babies. They then take the cells, culture them and run genetic tests.

I should get preliminary results back by Friday which will tell me which chromosome has an extra copy or which one is deleted. With these types of chromosome abnormalities the chances of loosing the baby between now and my delivery date is 60%. In about 10 days the results from the FISH (fluorescent in situ hybridization) test will be known. With this test they use a fluorescent stain to mark all of the chromosomes to see if there are pieces of each individual chromosome that are missing or abnormal. If there are no chromosome abnormalities then my chances of loosing the baby are 15% due to the fluid. Also, if all chromosomes are present and the fluid remains there are tests in the future, prior to the baby being born, that they can do with the remaining placenta sampling. The good news right now is that the baby is measuring exactly 12 weeks. Hoping tonight to get some sleep and ever so anxious for some answers.

Faith and Prayers

About 4 weeks ago I decided it was time to look for a new OB as my last one quit practicing right after I had Lucas. I was told that there was no one in the office where my doctor previously worked that was taking any new patients. So I tried the medical college and was told the first time that my insurance would only be accepted by a Resident. I made more calls but found nothing. So I opted for a Resident, but once I started talking to people I was transferred 4 or 5 times and ended up with an OB who accepts my insurance and takes high risk patients. I was so grateful to have finally found someone, especially an OB with lots of experience. So I went in today for my first doctors appointment and at 12 weeks along our baby kicked and squirmed throughout the entire ultrasound done by the nurse who told me everything looked great. However, once my doctor came in she said that she wanted to discuss some things that she was really concerned about. She told me our baby has fluid around the back of the head and neck and that this is the number one sign for down syndrome or missing chromosomes (which entail other problems). So our baby has a 50% chance of having down syndrome and the other 50% is our baby will be okay. She suggested an appointment with a doctor tomorrow (can't remember his name nor the procedure he will do . . . I wish my husband were there . . . for more reasons than one) where he will take some tissue from outside the baby that will tell us exactly what we are looking at. If all the chromosomes are there then we watch the fluid and the heart throughout the pregnancy to make sure everything is okay there too. My first thought once I received the news was "Well, I'll just have Greg give me a blessing tonight and everything will be okay". But, as I was talking with Greg the most important thing we can do as we will fast and pray is be susceptible to the will of our Father in Heaven. I know He hears and answers my prayers and I know He is aware of our baby and I know that there is a purpose for all things and that He has a plan. A marvelous one. I guess I just extend the invitation to all my readers to add this sweet little babe into your prayers tonight and that we will be receptive to the spirit to know what plan our Father in Heaven has for us.

About a year ago I decided to sew bags for a measly living. I bought me an awesome sewing machine, yards and yards of beautiful fabric, oodles of thread, yards sticks, disappearing ink markers, needles, and the list goes one. Then I began to cut and cut and cut then sew and sew and sew. I really enjoyed it at first but quickly found that I was using every spare minute I had to cut, iron or sew material and less and less time just enjoying life with my family. This along with the founding of my kidney disease was wearing me thin and I was exhausted. Then in April 2008 during the General Conference Sunday afternoon session I received an answer to an unspoken prayer. Elder Russell M Ballard talked about the role of a mother and that "there is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood" He said to "recognize that motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction".

My priorities were in array and I really had to question if all these bags would make a difference in the long run. These lines made sense to me at this point in my life: Elder Ballard said, "Author Ann Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: "The biggest mistake I made as a parent is the one that most of us make . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of my three children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and getting it done a little less". I did not quit sewing, but at that moment I knew I needed to revamp my priorities as this stage of my children's lives will be so short.
The last couple of weeks were really stressful for me as I had a few personal issues going on and then a few things out of my control that I was trying to take care of and again lost sight of what was most significant and ended up having one really difficult night that ended with a whole lot of tears. But as I prayed for direction, peace and help the words of Elder Ballard rang close to my heart. Again, I knew what was most important.

This week we went to the zoo,

apple picking, bought Halloween Costumes (Dax was so insatiable when it came to this topic, let's see it ranged from a skunk, to spider man, to a table, to a hippo, monkey, boa constrictor, turkey, tiger, peacock, dinosaur, sooooo we finally had to just pick something and he's still a bit unsatisfied), riding bikes, Dax started swim lessons, Lucas won't eat anything but is content most of the time, talked about why we have to get old and why we need to die, discussed what kind of meat we eat and why (weird topic I say), working on the 9th Article of Faith, talked about primary and in the end enjoyed one another a little bit more . . . . Don't get me wrong we still had some, at times a lot of moments but I recognized more the shining moments of joy and satisfaction.